Zoinks! Im in a mood that only being a right cunt to someone will fix. But who? Who? The draowning voiced Brummie work experience guy. Nah, he sounds loike hes maowneeng all the time but thats just his accent. He speaks in a minor key but he's not a bad person. What about the guys painting my yacht up? Nah, the boat looks shit because I designed it badly. What about... learner drivers? Check that box, gave one some proper shit earlier because they were making me 34 seconds late for work after lunch and I had a head full of guiness. Maybe the recruitment people at Gaydon deserve some of my ire. Actually that would be a shit idea because then Id definitely never ever get a job there, and so when I walk out of this place in about 2 weeks time because Ive had enough of the unprofessionality (not least my own) and have to run. Who then, who. I know! Ive got it! Ill moan to you as if you werent preoccupied enough! I amaze me sometimes, the depths Ill go to.
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Ok I went and had a smoke and imagined watching my laughable tantrum on the TV in your minds eye and what you'd think (shakes head in dissappointment) and calmed down. Im such a dick at work, if I wasnt so good Idve been sacked long ago, Im a right cunt hahaha!
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Thanks for calming me down earlier. Or at least, the you in my head. The version of you in my head just has to say a few choice words and Im put right in my place. Sorted me out. Settled me down and got on with in and fucking nailed it. I winked at myself on the way into my office I was so pleased (really I was winking at you in my head but people probably think I just really fancy myself. WOW CHICKA WOW WOW) Im not denying that I am smoking hot but a bit small in the chest and large in the shoulders and hands for my taste. I caught myself smoking in the mirror in my flat the other day and turned away, embarassed to have seen me. I tell me I dont smoke but I can smell it on my clothes when I wash them. I dread to think what it would be like if I found what else I get up to. Id be apalled! best not to think about it.